how to make friends in cyberspace >> by laura kayne >> *spark-online issue thirteen

A new phenomenon appears to have sprung up from the depths that is known as cyberspace. A step up from chat rooms, there are now virtual online communities. It is a new social arena, and a way to meet new people; an evolution of, and a world away from, the dating agencies of old. Less intense than singles bars, more fun than taking up a new hobby, and as easy as a night in front of the TV. Some people say that with all the new technology available to us, staying in is the new going out. But it seems that with the same new technology, you can do both. So, finding a peculiar, and seemingly popular, niche in the market and in people's imaginations are cyber-communities.

One popular site is Cycosmos. It aims itself at the young and trendy, promoting freedom and creativity. Here is a whole new world. You can be whoever you want to be, reinvent yourself, then meet some new people, chat, shop, and send a few e-mails. All from the comfort of your PC. And this is more than just hiding behind a computer screen, not being able to see the person you are e-mailing. You can be completely anonymous, completely mysterious. The only truly known information you have about your new friends (and they about you) is gender and location. And, how do you know if even that is true?

Users are known by nicknames, and produce ID cards. These give as much or as little information to your fellow Cycosmos inhabitants as you wish. There are lists of character traits, activities, interests, statements, and likes and dislikes. All accompanied by an image of a person--supposedly the same gender as the person controlling it, but let's face it, a bald 50-year-old man could just as easily choose a 20-something, attractive surfer-dude character. It is purely, as some wise scriptwriter once said, "the digital projection of your mental self."

A lot seems to depend on trust, but it is all in the spirit of fun, freedom, and individuality. It is a lot of fun, and strangely addictive. There are no rules, and with anonymity comes the breaking of barriers and inhibitions. You can be completely yourself as much as you can someone completely different.

With no physical aspect it is intriguing how much a person's personality can come through. You feel safe, the person on the other end can't see you, doesn't really know you, so you can take risks, say whatever you want to say, even if you are trying to reinvent yourself. Who's to say that the person you become is not just as real as the "real" you, maybe more so? Perhaps it's just another aspect of our personality, just another mask, or maybe without the usual barriers yet behind the safety of a computer screen and anonymous user name, people can discover their real selves?

However, philosophical waxing aside, it seems that many people do use Cycosmos purely for the fun aspect, and just to meet new people. With different 'communities' within the main community, you can be sure of being able to meet people of similar interests, and discuss relevant topics (including film, literature, music, computers, business), and of course, flirt!

There is also the novelty aspect of it; the ease of use and apparent trendiness are very appealing. It has been said that we all wear masks and present certain images of ourselves to others, but now there is a community built purely on that premise, and it thrives. To make friends, to find romance, to have a laugh, to meet people with similar interests, and to reinvent yourself. With a shopping section, a news section, and links to suggested sites, everyone is catered to. It is also said that in this busy technological age, we no longer have time for a social life. Many people find the Internet and other technology an aid to making life easier and quicker. It serves so many functions now, why not use it to provide a social life as well?

Is this the future of social meeting places? The new way to make friends and maybe more? Is virtual more appealing, or more "real" than the physical? Or is it just a fun trend? I guess we will soon find out, but whatever the answers, it looks like online communities are the place to go at the moment.

Laura Kayne is a marketing assistant for a publishing company in London, England. She moonlights as a wannabe writer in her spare time.