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The
WB Network's "Young Americans" was the last straw. Between gagging
on the likes of: "N'Sync", "Backstreet Boys", "Dawson's Freaks",
Britney, Christina, Monica, Puffy, Buffy, Angel, Ally, Sabrina,
Popular, "Freeks and Geeks", "Titus", "Malcolm in the Middle",
and "That `70's Show"; it's all a big Party of Hives.
How
long will the TV-viewing public be doomed to a schedule dominated
by programming for post-pubescent-obsessed males and pre-Spice Girls
who are too old for Pokemon? It's not even interesting to see armies
of freshly-picked actors portray people their age who possess phenomenal
hair and impossibly shaman-esque wisdom. It took me a divorce, two
evictions, remarriage, natural-childbirth, bankruptcy, car-payments,
abortion, and lots of therapy to have half the maturity and confidence
of that 'sassalina' "Felicity".
With
all the channels that cable and satellite television have to offer,
why have I seen more documentaries about WWI dogfights and house
remodeling specials in the last few years than in the last 25 years?
I'm not alone in occasionally making a habit of "Jeffersons" reruns,
either.
Denial,
hilarious irresponsibility and self-indulgence may well be this
music-video-saturated media trend's only resemblance to actual teen
philosophy--as if we cared anyway. "7th Heaven", "Two Guys, a Girl
and a Pizza Shop", "Dharma and Greg", not to mention no more than
one hour at a time of MTV viewing, have incorrectly instructed everyone
as to what situations are actually comedic. It's not just the aching
youth shows that are afflicted, but these 'early thirtyish character
driven comedies' as well.
A show
that could be good if it didn't aim at an audience of college kids.
Christopher Titus, the creator and star of "Titus", (he's probably
over 30 in real life, but he 'plays' a "902-Young-0" version of
himself) had the savvy to know that his real father's craven depravity
was the funniest thing in his act, but Fox Television Networks were
concerned about the monolithic demographic in question. (A marketing
strategy that doesn't make sense because elders own all the markets
except the senior bandwidth; just ask any fifty-year-old when their
kids stopped asking for money.)
So scenes
with Pater Titus (played by portably intense career actor Stacey
Keach) become footnotes to pizza-box-punch-lines driving the show
away from these delicious flashbacks. Score one for the intellectual
puppies.
Face
chills. The tedium of what young people accept as 'good', 'cool',
or 'interesting' is making lots of fairly smart people very uncomfortable.
Why should stressed-out adults have to bob through hours of highly
irritating commercials, promos, and insultingly formulaic shows
only to find that Hollywood and advertising folks think they want
to see "Touched By Frasier's Angel" or "Alex Trebec, Texas Ranger".
It's been slim pickings since "Homocide" and "The Larry Sanders
Show" went off-air. "Mad About You" was never funny, and it's unlikely
we'll see anyone like Fred Sandford carrying sitcom again. HBO does
better with "The Sopranos", which tries too hard to be adult; and
is little more than a gumba "Dynasty" ("Sex and the City" being
a “Tampax Dallas").
The
cultish movement that has transformed nearly every broadcasting
minute into a pimples and report card festival didn't start in the
1990's; it began when parents started spending a thousand US dollars
on a Cabbage Patch Doll. Marketing executives made the painful interpretation
of this event and others like it that would dictate the downfall
of reasonably adult and complex television.
I accept
personal responsibility for buying a Bay City Roller's album 24
years ago. No one twisted my arm but I got over it. Eventually life
revealed itself to be the nervous breakdown it is--instead of the
laugh-track and dramatic-pause which prime-time TV has morphed into.
These are days ruled by people born in the 1970's and 80's. It is
their lack of reference (to them, "Inspector Gadget" has the same
Golden-Oldie tint as "The Twilight Zone") that will continue to
deliver more rancid gum-drop shows. This is not my fault and I can't
stop it from being the mode.
Just
do something for the discerning viewer in return. No more hospital
shows, not everything David Kelly and Steven Bochco do is actually
interesting, and there should be a limit to the amount of sexy shows
about New Yorkers that Darren Starr can produce. No more hour long
filmed cop shows. No more, gritty, real dramas about real life.
Don't try to repeat good ideas like "Twin Peaks", "X-Files", "Picket
Fences", "Thirtysomething", or "Star Trek". Before those great programs
were made, there was nothing like them. There truly are more than
thirty-six dramatic structures in this universe.
Just
start by eliminating 'pouty' from your script treatments.
Copyright
© 2000 Viki Reed. All Rights Reserved
Viki
Reed is a mother and gadfly. She likes T.V.
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