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the great identity shift
by chip grimshaw
The other night I went with some friends to a pretty bad party. Nothing new there, eh? We stood in a corner in what we dubbed the unofficial kitchen, since the party was outside and we weren't able to gather in the normal kitchen, the haven for the terminally unhip or socially impaired. But shortly before we left, one stranger decided our small group should become part of the social vortex that spun around us. He came over and introduced himself as "Jude." Eschewing the obvious Lennon-McCartney joke, we proceeded to introduce ourselves as Roger, Tom, and Pete. We chatted him up for a few minutes, mentioned our origins in Kansas and Canada and our reason for being in Ohio, and eventually he left.
Problem is, our names really were Keith, Pat, and Chip, respectively, and all of us had lived most of our lives in Ohio.
When it comes to information, we rely on two primary sources: what we observe and what we are told. I've been told that Mount Saint Helens erupted 19 years ago, but I didn't see it. Yet I believe it. I've been told that Shakespeare wrote King Lear, but I didn't watch him do it. Yet I believe it. I've been told that smoking causes cancer, but I haven't done the studies myself. Yet I believe it. One of the most fundamental assumptions we make is that what we are told is generally true. This is most apparent when dealing with facts about other people.
I'm living a few hours away from most of my closest friends now -- one of the perils of getting a "real" job. So at the end of the day, I usually call someone back in Athens to find out how the past few days have been there and to fill people in on my life. I haven't been there to observe directly what I'm told, or vice versa. Yet I always believe what the other person is telling me.
Let's step away from the concrete examples of real life for a moment to theorize about something. We take it for granted that what we perceive of others is based largely on how they present themselves, both in conversation and in action. The reverse of that is also true; namely, that what others perceive of us is based largely on how we present ourselves, both in conversation and in action. So if we present a false front that appears to be true (is not inherently contradictory and remains plausible), our identity shifts in the minds of all who encounter us under this false persona.
This new persona grants a certain amount of freedom as it lacks accountability. When I'm Pete, I don't care what others think of me. It's not really me that someone dislikes, likes, is repulsed by, or is attracted to. It's fiction. If I take an online pseudonym, I can stir things up without worrying about damaging my own reputation. By not being me, I can permit myself to do the things I've always wanted to do.
Try it sometime. Work up a separate persona. Figure out who he is, what he's done in the past, where he comes from, where he's going. Make him as complete as possible. Then try him on somewhere. Go into a coffee shop and talk to people. Go to a bar and share a drink. Go to a rave and dance with someone. But do it as someone else. Give yourself the freedom to act in ways that the structures and restrictions set up around your everyday life do not permit. Then apply it to your own "real" life.
Copyright © Chip Grimshaw 2000 All Rights Reserved
Chip Grimshaw is taking a break from being a perpetual student in order to be a technical guru at a high school in Toledo, Ohio.