| |
All
over the world, the desires and individuality of people have been
crushed for centuries. No, I do not allude to such anti-social
desires as murder or burglary; I refer to simple, innocuous desires
like using a spoon in place of a fork or wearing bright red sneakers
with a black suit and the more serious ones like the desire to
be honest. Most people whose desires are destroyed put the blame
on the nebulous something called society but it is usually the
individual or a small group of people who is responsible.
I remember
the time when, as a boy of seven or eight, for the first time in
my little life, I had the privilege to choose my own shirt. It was
a lovely shirt, bright orange in colour. I was delighted. I would
wear it to my friend's the next morning. I slept with the shirt
under my pillow and dreamt the whole night how beautiful I would
look in it. As soon as I got up, I took out my new shirt from under
the pillow and excitedly removed its polythene cover. In a few minutes,
I was off to my friend's house dressed in my new orange shirt and
cute, black shorts. I could hardly wait for my friend to open the
door. Excitedly, I started talking about things totally unrelated
to my new acquisition, craving for a compliment but fearing the
sharp 'new-pinch'. I could see he was envious. He had completely
forgotten the 'new pinch'. He looked repeatedly at my shirt but
said nothing for the first five minutes or so. It seemed like ages.
At last, he conceded that it was a wonderful shirt. I was elated.
We must
have played for an hour on the lawn outside his house when my friend
got up and went in to drink some water. My friend's mom not only
noticed the new shirt at once but was quick to comment:” Where've
you got that 'girlish shirt' from? Boys don't wear such colours!”
I was shattered. I never wore the shirt again but the incident set
me thinking and, years later, I realised what had happened. The
lady had very effectively used an 'anti-social myth' in an individualistic
manner to hurt my ego and bloat that of her son in the shabby shirt.
Neither school nor home had prepared me for it. This is what usually
happens and in, what I term, a “mechanically un-understanding manner”
we tend to blame society. Since the day I understood this fact I
have never bothered much about what others say and have led a much
happier and more satisfied life than most others. I now know that
other individuals or groups are also parts of society and are no
more important than me so I have stopped giving them undue importance.
Society,
as a whole, tries to help people and not harm them--otherwise, it
would be an anti-society! Laws are made by society so that everyone
may have enough freedom. On the other hand, individuals misuse the
laws and take undue advantage of their privileged position. Just
as the myth of matching clothes was probably created by the tailors
of Saville Row, each group of individuals with common interests
tends to create a myth with an aim to try and exploit the rest of
society. No law says that the policeman is free to misuse his authority
but many a time he does so. India is known to be one of the most
corrupt countries in the world but I have not come across a single
person, in my forty years of life in this country, who is happy
with this state of affairs.
It is
the individual or a powerful group of individuals that holds the
rest of society to ransom and tries to force its views on more and
more people. Both the exploiter and the exploited are part of society
and so it is incorrect to hold society as a whole responsible for
the mistakes of a part. This attitude weakens us as we tend to imagine
that we are alone in our views, likes and dislikes and so must follow
the others. If we have the courage to air our views we generally
find that many others in society share them but are too timid to
speak. The loudmouth is taken to represent society while the reticent,
perhaps more in number, feel alone and insecure.
The
exploiter, like the bully, is basically a coward and tries to hide
himself in various ways like those of profession, caste, race, religion,
sex or even as the spokesperson of society. He tries to ridicule
the other because, not having any individuality himself, he is afraid
of losing his group identity. He, or the group with him, is not
the whole of society for if it were so there would be no change
and no progress in society. If one is to progress and be a part
of the healthy growth of society one must learn not to bother about
such people and, if necessary, deal with them firmly. One must learn
to keep one's individuality.
Individuality
does not imply rebelling against what is fashionable or simply following
what is in fashion. It means thinking for one's own self and just
being oneself. It means doing one's own thing as long as it does
not harm anyone else. It is the losing of all fear and getting the
confidence to face other individuals or groups. It is the ability
to think and then to communicate freely, frankly and logically one's
point of view. This can and must be developed through education.
We must be consciously prepared both at school and home to think
fearlessly and not to feel hurt if individuals or groups laugh at
us.
Copyright
© 2000 Deep Inder. All Rights Reserved.
Mr. Deep Inder is a writer of features and fiction whose work
has appeared in 'The Statesman', 'The Indian Express', 'The Arrested
Voice', 'TETE-A-TETE' and 'The Tribune'. He is presently working
as a college teacher in India.
comment?
discuss this article on our
discussion
board
|
