It never fails. I am attracted by the bargains of used technology and then I’m plagued and teased by bizarre and irrational glitches. Most of my used forms of technology have to be hit up the side, or prompted in the appropriate manner in order to work properly.

My car drove me crazy for years. It would overheat in the summer and no mechanic I ever brought it to could figure out what was wrong. I just had to put up with it. Fortunately it was completely predictable. If it was hot and humid out and the car had not been driven for a few days it would stop working after about 30 minutes. Then it would cough and spurt and I would quickly have to find a place where I could pull over and coast to a reasonable parking spot. Sometimes this left me uncomfortably close to intersections. If it was downhill I could push it to safety, but even a slight upgrade would negate all my fine girl power and the car would refuse to budge. I don’t know how many times I’ve been pulled over on the side like this, trying to look busy (I started to keep a book in the car for just this purpose) so that nobody would stop and try to help. It was embarrassing telling the same story over and over. “Thanks very much, but I think it’s just overheated - it does this a lot - it just needs a little time to cool off. Thanks anyway.” There were helpful policemen who waited with me until it would start and then there was the helpful pseudo-mechanic who rigged up a quick rope tow and pulled me out of a dangerous intersection. Like I said, it was very predictable. I would wait for about 20 minutes to a half hour and then turn the ignition and it was fine. It would run forever until the next time after it sat for a few days without being driven. I dealt with this car condition for years until I gave the car to my friend with explicit detailed instructions. It drove her crazy too.

But my car is not the only technological mystery in my life. I used to have this CD player that would only open up if I tapped on the door. My floor ceramic heater would mysteriously turn itself off after running only five minutes. I finally figured out that blowing on it before it was turned on would help. (I make up explanations that seem to make sense, like dust gets inside and the heater is sensitive, but it probably has nothing to do with it.) My old hair dryer works like my car; it just stops working after a while and turns itself off. If I wait I can turn it back on a little later. My laptop that I bought from an engineering student didn’t work right - it wouldn’t boot consistently until I upgraded the modem to 56K and now it works great. No problem. Does it make sense? No, but it works.

My TV has now decided to go dim and blotchy for no particular reason. Occasionally after viewing for a while it will simply get darker and then later it might go back to normal. I have yet to figure out what to do to alleviate this. I have tried every possible magical combination of turning on and fiddling with controls, banging, thumping. Nothing works. The really weird thing is that it doesn’t do it all the time. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad and it doesn’t seem to be deteriorating. It seems completely random. Once when I thought it might be the plug or the electricity to a certain outlet, I moved the TV into another room and it worked fine. The next day it was dark again. Go figure.

I sometimes wonder what is it that drives me to such lengths to figure out such bizarre solutions. Why don’t I just buy some new technology? One reason is that new technology is no guarantee of being free from problems. Just look at new versions of software (Microsoft Word or Windows) for a perfect example of this. The challenge perhaps is to dominate, to feel in control and to be able to handle whatever life offers (especially when the price is reduced by half!). Fortunately, I love fiddling with stuff until it drives me mad. Sometimes I will lose a whole day or two searching for a particular solution to a problem even though I am supposed to be working on my dissertation. I can’t pass up the lure of actually fixing something. Maybe it’s the idea that I need to feel useful (as opposed to writing a dissertation). Something drives me on and on to find what I need, whether it’s a patch for a program that isn’t working or a y2k fix.

I guess it goes to show that technology is not just a tool, it shapes us as we shape things with it. As the technology I use becomes a bigger part of my life, I become ever more eccentric in the ways that I try to live with it. I have these bizarre thoughts that I can fix almost anything with a tap, thump, or the patience to sit it out or search the web for the right answer. I never know what I am really doing, but I seem to have an uncanny and irrational faith that I will be able to solve the problem. I am truly becoming a product of an obsessed society, one that is easily amused by the challenge of the technical fix.

Copyright © 2000 Barbara Duncan All Rights Reserved

Barbara Duncan is a doctoral candidate in the department of Educational Policy Studies at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She is writing in the area of philosophy of education with an emphasis on media and cultural studies, feminism, and technology.