I recently fulfilled a life-long dream of going to Monument Valley. As a result of spending time in the Navaho Nation, as well as other Native American reservations from Oklahoma to Arizona, I felt an intense need to learn more of the way of life of these gentle people. My maternal grandmother was Cherokee, but never spoke of her culture, so I had been wanting to learn about that heritage anyway.

I have developed a habit as I grow older of stopping to actually think before I speak, especially if I am offering advice to a friend or an opinion at work. I have noticed the impatience that others often display; others who offer ill-considered bon mots that are not so bon. There is little doubt in my mind, as I consult in different parts of the country, that I am thought of as just another slow-witted, slow-talking Southerner. Why are regional prejudices perhaps the hardest to die?

To my delight, I have learned that the Navaho (and others) always pause and consider what they are going to say.

Imagine if we all did this. Think of the hurt feelings spared and the rash decisions not made in business. The quick tongue is often entwined with the Asian concept of “saving face” which is certainly not an unusual characteristic of those with European ancestry. When you can’t admit you made a mistake because you can’t appear incompetent at any cost then you have a situation where everyone knows the boss (could be a CEO or just mom or dad) is wrong but can’t back down. Isn’t this much worse for business and relationships than taking the time to make better decisions, and if a mistake is still made, admitting it and taking corrective steps? The boss in the Dilbert cartoon is funny as a two-dimensional character but I’ve run into real-life SOB’s like that all of the time; they are not humorous at all.

The Native Americans are not the only ones with this sociological concept. There aren’t even words in Swahili for “I’m sorry.” Once a person has reached a certain maturity level, he/she is expected to think about what they are going to say or do beforehand if they are to be accepted as part of society. What a concept!

In the part of the country I was raised in, people often said “That’s awfully white of you!” as a satirical comment. Well, we may have given the world Shakespeare but we also gave the world Colonial imperialism and we have much to learn from the wisdom of others, from folk medicine to philosophy.

So, people can go on thinking of me as slow-witted if they want; I’ll continue to offer my considered opinions in the time frame I think prudent. But, I must admit I’m glad we have the words “I’m sorry” because I am sure I will continue to screw up; maybe I can blame it on the Northern European background of most of my ancestors.

George Lonewolf is a software developer and freelance writer currently based in the Silicon Valley. He has written an unpublished book on the need for divorce reform and is currently in Las Vegas working on a screenplay.