(This article was originally published in December 2001)

In the wake of the September 11 events, pundits hailed that irony was dead, that sarcasm would exist no more, and that poking fun at political leaders was not likely to happen again. In the rush to find anything to say about the attacks, it was suddenly as if jokes had fueled the terrorists. Of course those who would pronounce an end to particular types of humor do not understand the great depths of the human spirit, and our need to regain our smarmy attitudes. After all, if action movies have taught us anything, it's that when fighting terrorism, we must always remain sarcastic, and use bad puns and one-liners. But I wasn't sure how to get my sarcasm back.

For a time, I truly had lost my sarcasm. My mind reeled at how huge this all was. I got teary-eyed at the scenes of the accident sites, and of religious leaders doing their damnedest to help people get through this one. I got even more teary-eyed at the scenes of people rallying to protect a local Mosque after it was targeted by a man with misplaced rage. I even tried to sit through the star-filled telethon for the victims.

Still, even now, as I realize that this whole episode has no adequate solution that does not result in numerous other complications, my sarcasm is returning, and my cynicism may end up needing its own room. It was the advertisers of my great nation that helped me get back in touch with my inner smart-ass—that voice that complains too much about too little.

At first, I was reserving judgment. As soon as commercials were put back on air, Subway sandwiches had simple, black-screen, white-text ads claiming solidarity with everyone affected by the tragedies. The commercials ended with "God Bless America" and the "Subway" corporate logo. Still in a bit of a fog, I wasn't sure what to think of this. I attributed it to Subway's connection to New York City, and the lack of any truly appropriate response. "Should we run with Jared, go with the shadow puppet, or acknowledge the recent terrorist attacks?"

Toyota's Camry ad had started airing before September 11. But as it came creeping back on television, it just seemed odd, even smacking of some of that allegedly dead irony. It shows people in countries all over the world, with various view-screens and monitors interrupted by some (alien? divine?) signal flashing an image of the Camry along with the "You Want It" tag-line. The tentative-then-sweeping music of the ads indicates the promise of a better world. An almost spiritual, unifying quality is attributed to the purchase of a new car.

Prior to the attacks, the concept behind the Camry ad was already dated, in addition to having been skewered by a recent Jack-in-the-Box commercial. But now, with the government propaganda machine charging ahead, with George W. declaring that everyone was with the U.S., or with the terrorists (tell that to all the people who don't see either option as likely to keep them alive) the ad became ridiculous. It was as if only more people had bought Camrys, none of this would have happened.

Other car companies rushed to create new ads connecting themselves to the tragedy, but in a positive way—you know, like the "American Spirit" way. Ford cranked out a commercial stating that 'things can change in an instant,' but that America kicks ass (or something like that). There's a montage of cowboys, and flags, and super-tough trucks destroying stream beds. Go buy a Ford. Wooooo! That'll show the bad guys in that region of the world where we engage in military struggles to ensure a steady supply of oil for our ridiculously overpowered, inefficient vehicles.

Almost immediately after the attacks, "business analysts" proclaimed that stock in communications companies was likely to rise in value, as people no longer saw mobile phones as a luxury, but a necessity in an age of terrorism. Sure enough, AT&T Wireless soon followed the Subway style, with a clean, text-only ad, fading up, then fading out the names of cities all over the world, one at a time. The ad closes with the statement that "the power to unite is stronger than the power to divide" a slogan that AT&T probably copyrighted and trademarked.

Lest consumers think that only AT&T Wireless is concerned, AT&T Broadband ran its own ad. It's practically identical to the Subway commercial, only with a different corporate logo, and a message to donate to the Red Cross. Of course, the Red Cross number is on the screen too briefly to actually grab a pen and write it down. But you can get all that Red Cross information on the Internet anyway, and really fast if you have AT&T Broadband's At Home (TM) service.

As of the time I am writing this (and I'm not saying it won't get worse) I have to credit Radio Shack, in association with Nokia, for bringing back my cynicism in full. Perhaps it's just a strange coincidence, but roughly two weeks after a slew of MTV stars got together and recorded a version of Marvin Gaye's "What's Going On?" as a tribute record to the victims of the terrorist attacks, Radio Shack is using a version of that song in its ads. At the beginning of the commercial, Howie Long looks over his shoulder, and asks "What's going on?" Soon thereafter, MTV-bred celebrity Daisy Fuentes, smiles and seductively asks the same question as the commercial touts a great big phone sale. Just rush down to Radio Shack, and buy a bit of world peace from Nokia—or is it a bit of security—or wait, are we buying these out of fear? Or are we buying them because they're cool? Because we're cool?

Really, what is going on?

Copyright © 2001 Jonathan Schildbach. All Rights Reserved.

Jonathan Schildbach lives in Seattle and refuses to let terrorists scare him out of playing Lava Monster, and Freeze Tag.