The first thing I noticed was a woman standing in the middle of the street, directing traffic into the right-hand lane. The second thing I noticed was the entourage of vehicles stopped in the left-hand lane. Some were on the median, some crooked. It was as if some black hole had sucked them all to that spot. I changed lanes.

The person in the van two vehicles up talked briefly with the woman directing traffic, and quickly joined the other vehicles. As I drove by I noticed people on all sides of the street, staring into the black hole. I followed suit to see about seven people huddled around the contorted body of a young girl. An empty bike lay nearby.

A *spark-online article came to mind—the one about the guy hit by a jeep who's spine was snapped by people trying to help by rolling him over. I assumed someone in the group was aware of this possibility as the girl's body remained twisted.

20 yards up I stopped at a red light. I took note of the hospital on the opposite corner of the intersection and thought "what a great place for a hospital."

I could hear a siren coming over my radio (which I had turned down as I passed the black hole) and looked toward the hospital that would connect with the ambulance that came from the opposite direction. It was quickly followed by a fire engine. Both were sucked into the black hole.

As I drove off past the intersection and the scene faded from my rearview mirrors, I wondered how many people's days were just ruined. I wondered how it had played out, who's fault it was and what consequences it would have on their lives.

Maybe the girl suffered minor injuries, a couple of broken bones, some scrapes. Maybe she walked away after the paramedics checked her out. Maybe she died.

I wondered what kind of dent her bike left on the assaulting car. I wondered how they would explain it to the people at the body shop. "Oh, I hit a 10 year old girl on her little pink bike in the middle of Midway."

I wondered if insurance pays for it. I wondered if their car insurance pays for injuries to someone not in another car. I wondered if they'd be taken to trial.

I wondered why I had a hundred "I wonders" and so little concern for the girl and her condition. It's like it happened on TV. I saw it with great resolution, yet I was apart from it—uninvolved and apathetic to the situation. I wondered if that makes me a heartless bastard.

Maybe all those people who say violence on TV numbs us to it are right. Was I numb? Was there just nothing I could do?

The situation seemed organized and under control; traffic was managed, paramedics were called and people were standing by to help. Was there something I should have done that I didn't do?

I'm now plagued by this question of "did I do the right thing by doing nothing?" It's easy to justify—I know I would have offered little to no assistance to the situation. I would have only added to the obstruction of traffic and the distraction of passing drivers. But at the same time I had this feeling that says, "you should have done something." Yet I was helpless, and didn't even have to think about it to know it.

I wondered why I felt the need to help.

Copyright © 2001 Brian Scates. All Rights Reserved.

Brian Scates [brian@exitanalog.org] is a graphic artist, a t-shirt pusher [www.404fidelity.com] and a moderator for *spark-online's discussion board. He's also an Ad Design major at Stephen F. Austin State University in East Texas.