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From the white gown to the cutting of the cake, I have always
been a wedding junkie. So when I received an invitation to
a friend's wedding last month, I didn't hesitate to check
the "I will attend" line and RSVP.
I was prepared for the tight throat and watery eyes that I tend
to experience as most couples confess their unwavering love
for each other. Last Saturday, however, I was broadsided and
never saw it coming.
Before the exchange of vows the minister proceeded to give a
sermon based on his reading of a Bible passage. He preached
about how a commitment to marriage was a submission of the wife
to the husband and of the husband to God. That a man was the
head of the household as Christ is the head of the Church. That
the wife was to do as the husband says even if it isn't always
what she believes.
I've been to many weddings, religious and not, but never once
have I heard such a literal interpretation of marriage. If this
is what marriage is, I don't want any part in it. Encouraging
wives to obey their husbands at all times sets us back a century.
I'm sorry, but if I don't agree with my husband's decision,
I'm not going to sit back like some docile wife and let him
make a bad choice that will affect me too. What's wrong with
an equal union?
Marriage is about compromise, not compliance. I am not a child.
I am an intelligent, responsible adult who has strong values
and valid opinions. Moreover, I'm capable of making sensible
decisions. Why should the male be granted the role of sole decision-maker,
ruler of house? If you look at most marriages today, the wife
pretty much runs the household: managing the finances, cooking,
cleaning, making sure the kids have everything they need, deciding
what to buy, when to buy. I could go on and on.
What a marriage should be is a covenant made between man and
women of their intention of a life-long commitment to each other—a
commitment that is recognized by the law and by family and friends.
Until I can find a man who is willing to take those vows with
me and a clergyperson who will perform them, I'll keep my single,
head of my household status, thank you.
Copyright © 2001 Sara Jo Sautter. All Rights
Reserved.
Sarah Jo Sautter is a fiery 26-year-old
copywriter who shares a house with her boyfriend. When she's
not writing copy for chevy.com, she's busy surfing wedding
sites and watching the food network.
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