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Allow
me to set a scene if you will. September 22nd, 2000, approximately
4:30 in the afternoon. I sit on a bus heading for a downtown
subway station. On a very busy road the bus comes to an intersection
where the light is red. The bus is turning left so it is in the
left most of two lanes. Traffic moving in the perpendicular direction
is slowing as their light has gone amber. The little man in the
crosswalk has been replaced by the flashing red hand, which means
complete your crossing if you have started, but don't begin crossing
if you haven't. The little red hand flashes for 5 seconds, 3
more and it will go solid red, which means, get the hell off the
road you idiot.
Enter
idiot.
A forty-ish
business fellow, cell phone, briefcase, bald spot, billowing trench
coat. Eight seconds into the flashing red hand he reaches the curb,
glances up and decides against all reason to prance like a doe across
the street to 'beat the light'. The light turns red for opposing
traffic and the buses light turns green. The bus driver, seeing
the prancing doe, chooses to wait a moment before turning. A white
Jeep Cherokee in the right most lane, which approached the intersection
as the light turned green, accelerates, lawfully, through the intersection
and demolishes the prancing doe as he darts past the front of the
bus and into the path of oncoming traffic.
The
Cherokee stops and there are screams from women on the bus, crowds
are forming, people calling 911 on the cell phone. The prancing
doe is lying crumpled in the middle of the intersection. His bald
spot is covered in blood due to a large blow to the head he suffered.
Three do-gooders roll the victim into the recovery position.
Did
you see it? Did you see where the good Samaritans severed that
fellow's spinal cord? Why did they do that? Were their intentions
not noble? Yes, but like most people, they kind of knew first aid.
Can I set you straight on something? If you 'kind of' know first
aid, you DO NOT KNOW first aid.
For
five years of my life I worked as a lifeguard at a public pool.
One of the rules I remember is that you do not move an accident
victim unless you are absolutely sure that the victim has not suffered
a neck or spine injury. How can you be sure? If you watch someone
faint and fall over, you can be sure that a neck or spine injury
is not present. If you find someone lying on the ground who you
assume fainted, you do not touch him or her, ever! You leave them
where they lay, comfort them, and contact the paramedics.
This
is standard practice.
The
cure-all most victims are put into is the recovery position. To
perform it one rolls the victim onto their side and uses the victim's
arms and legs to stabilize the body. The recovery position is not
the treatment for all injuries and is not the pinnacle of first
aid! As a lifeguard, the recovery position is used when a victim
is pulled from a pool and may have swallowed large amounts of water.
When the victim vomits, as they surely will, it is best to have
their head on its side so that the victim does not choke on their
own puke.
Pay
attention, if you have someone who has been slammed by a car and
smashed into the ground, his or her spinal cord could be nearly
severed. If you go flopping them around so that they can breathe
a bit easier, you will sever the spinal cord, paralyzing them.
The paralysis will be your fault. There are special techniques
and pieces of equipment used to move neck and spine injured victims.
If you are walking down the street, chances are, you aren't prepared
to deal with this type of accident. So back off, dial 911, and
you've done your job.
The
worst part of this whole situation is that you can't protect yourself
from these angels of mercy. If a car hits you and you're in pain,
you don't have the facilities to tell people who are trying to 'help'
you to stop. Even if you did, would they? Or would they reassure
you and sooth you as they cause further damage? Education is the
only way to reach them. So please, good Samaritans, heroes, nursing
students, don't touch us, please, you're fucking killing us out
there.
Copyright
© 2001 Ryan Glover. All Rights Reserved.
Ryan Glover is a Toronto-based web developer who splits his
time between application development and editing the zine Modern
Cynic.
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