an open letter >> by ryan glover >> *spark-online issue seventeen

Allow me to set a scene if you will. September 22nd, 2000, approximately 4:30 in the afternoon. I sit on a bus heading for a downtown subway station. On a very busy road the bus comes to an intersection where the light is red. The bus is turning left so it is in the left most of two lanes. Traffic moving in the perpendicular direction is slowing as their light has gone amber. The little man in the crosswalk has been replaced by the flashing red hand, which means complete your crossing if you have started, but don't begin crossing if you haven't. The little red hand flashes for 5 seconds, 3 more and it will go solid red, which means, get the hell off the road you idiot.

Enter idiot.

A forty-ish business fellow, cell phone, briefcase, bald spot, billowing trench coat. Eight seconds into the flashing red hand he reaches the curb, glances up and decides against all reason to prance like a doe across the street to 'beat the light'. The light turns red for opposing traffic and the buses light turns green. The bus driver, seeing the prancing doe, chooses to wait a moment before turning. A white Jeep Cherokee in the right most lane, which approached the intersection as the light turned green, accelerates, lawfully, through the intersection and demolishes the prancing doe as he darts past the front of the bus and into the path of oncoming traffic.

The Cherokee stops and there are screams from women on the bus, crowds are forming, people calling 911 on the cell phone. The prancing doe is lying crumpled in the middle of the intersection. His bald spot is covered in blood due to a large blow to the head he suffered. Three do-gooders roll the victim into the recovery position.

Did you see it? Did you see where the good Samaritans severed that fellow's spinal cord? Why did they do that? Were their intentions not noble? Yes, but like most people, they kind of knew first aid. Can I set you straight on something? If you 'kind of' know first aid, you DO NOT KNOW first aid.

For five years of my life I worked as a lifeguard at a public pool. One of the rules I remember is that you do not move an accident victim unless you are absolutely sure that the victim has not suffered a neck or spine injury. How can you be sure? If you watch someone faint and fall over, you can be sure that a neck or spine injury is not present. If you find someone lying on the ground who you assume fainted, you do not touch him or her, ever! You leave them where they lay, comfort them, and contact the paramedics.

This is standard practice.

The cure-all most victims are put into is the recovery position. To perform it one rolls the victim onto their side and uses the victim's arms and legs to stabilize the body. The recovery position is not the treatment for all injuries and is not the pinnacle of first aid! As a lifeguard, the recovery position is used when a victim is pulled from a pool and may have swallowed large amounts of water. When the victim vomits, as they surely will, it is best to have their head on its side so that the victim does not choke on their own puke.

Pay attention, if you have someone who has been slammed by a car and smashed into the ground, his or her spinal cord could be nearly severed. If you go flopping them around so that they can breathe a bit easier, you will sever the spinal cord, paralyzing them. The paralysis will be your fault. There are special techniques and pieces of equipment used to move neck and spine injured victims. If you are walking down the street, chances are, you aren't prepared to deal with this type of accident. So back off, dial 911, and you've done your job.

The worst part of this whole situation is that you can't protect yourself from these angels of mercy. If a car hits you and you're in pain, you don't have the facilities to tell people who are trying to 'help' you to stop. Even if you did, would they? Or would they reassure you and sooth you as they cause further damage? Education is the only way to reach them. So please, good Samaritans, heroes, nursing students, don't touch us, please, you're fucking killing us out there.

Ryan Glover is a Toronto-based web developer who splits his time between application development and editing the zine Modern Cynic.