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As
every audience demographic moves to the top of the exploitation
list, the pickings get slimmer and slimmer. The buzz around Tinseltown,
I predict, will be all Yo-Yos 24-7. Will we see a YYTV? It's
up to you, and your favorite networks.
Comedy
Central Presents: "Yo-Yo Man", starring the Smothers Brothers,
accompanied by Yo-Yo Ma, famed classical musician in a yo-yo tribute
to chamber music and deadpan faces!!!" This fall on HBO.
Walkin'
the Snoop Doggy Dogg: MTV's weekly half-hour about the exciting
world of Extreme Yo-Yo Sport and its Rap ties.
America's
Funniest Videos: Yo-Yo This! An entire hour of funny home videos
that feature men getting whacked in the nuts, babies in the forehead
and old ladies in the back of the head with out of control yo-yo's.
Yo-Yos
Caught On Tape-VI! Fox TV pushes the reality TV envelope as former
TV cop David Carusol rides shotgun on this fast-paced hour of Yo-Yo
collisions, Yo-Yo chases, Yo-Yo accidents, Yo-Yo tricks, and Yo-Yo
crimes--all caught on video.
This
Old Yo-Yo, With Bob Vila: The famous home-restoration emcee, Bob
Vila, hosts a new offering on the Home and Gardens Television Channel,
which follows Yo-Yo masters, as they rebuild and wow you with old
yo-yo's.
Antique
and Yo-Yo: A traveling television appraisal fair of Yo-Yos bought
for a song, found in people's attics or deceased people's shoe boxes,
and yo-yos that have been kept in families for generations.
Yo-R:
NBC enters a new hour-long, filmed drama to the line-up: The lives
and complications of technicians at a yo-yo factory-cum-yo-yo-emergency
repair shop are revealed through the care they give their yo-yos.
YoSomething:
Ken Olin returns to his role as Michael Steadman, proving himself
to be unconvincing as anything other than Michael Steadman.
Yo-Yo:
The Musical: Debbie Allen revives her role as a spunky dance teacher
who saves inner city youth from a life of crime by producing a Yo-Yo
Talent Competition. All dance numbers and yo-yo tricks are choreographed
by Allen, with original music by Babyface, (who makes a cameo appearance
as a Yo-Yo Master who's pulled himself out of the ghetto).
Lifetime
Television's Yo-Yo Made For Television Movies presents... (Television
for victims. As long as you tell a story from the woman's point
of view, it will be shown on Lifetime. Just add yo-yo.)
Coming
this fall--only on Lifetime Television: Television for Victims...
"The
Yo-Yo Kid": Jean Smart stars in this modern day twist on the classic
story of "Annie", told through the eyes of an autistic boy obsessed
with yo-yos.
"Yo-Yo
Man": Kevin Dobson stars in this original Lifetime Channel Movie
Presentation about a small time thief on probation who ''yo-yos”
between his new girlfriend (Mel Harris), his bum father (Robert
Conrad) and a life of crime.
"Cat's
In The Cradle": Cheryl Ladd stars as a woman on the edge of her
sanity since her husband, (Tim Matheson) disappeared in a flood...
"Yo-Yo
Soup": Mary Tyler Moore and Carol Burnett co-star as two bitter
divorcees that have to start a muffin company in order to keep their
houses and their lives from yo-yo-ing all over the place.
"Yo-Yo":
Jimmy Smits plays a hardened social worker who can possibly find
hope in a Bronx youth who's battle cry is "Yo-YO!”
"The
Golden Yo-Yo": Christine Lahti plays a woman who's much younger
husband seems too good to be true.
"Granddaddy's
Super Yo-Yo Trick": Jason Robards plays a crotchety old man who
has to adopt his spunky granddaughter when her parents die in a
car crash.
"Yo":
Adrian Zmed and Lisa Liou play half-American and half-Chinese half
brother and sister who are introduced when their father's will is
read.
"NBC
NewsYo": Another entree into the nightly investigative magazine
show, NBC and MSNBC both broadcast this undercover reporting show
about: Yo-Yo tricks and scams; quality control in Yo-Yos; Yo-Yo
sweatshops; silicone Yo-Yos; criminal Yo-Yocide cold cases; and
groundbreaking medical yo-yo issues. Many of NewsYo's anchors have
won the Edward R. Murrow Award For Excellence in Journalism.
"The
Real Yo": Six yo-yos, picked to live in a box. There is no actual
intelligent life forms or resulting behaviors, though two yo-yos
lined up do resemble tits if you have enough to drink.
"Celebrity
Yo-Yos": E! Entertainment expands its vanity production schedule
with a daily half hour featuring Yo-Yos owned by today's hottest
celebs, in their own homes! Its debut issue includes stars of huge,
but long off the air sitcom stars, anonymous soap opera millionaires,
and primetime drama co-stars who don't ring any bells in your head.
"Up
and Down With Yo-Yos on BET": A weekly all African American entertainment
magazine talk show with the focus on conversation that has the cadence
of a yo-yo bobbing. The last Friday of every month includes a Funniest
Yo-Yo contest.
"Yo
Quazar Yo Two Thousand (2K)": The Sci Fi Channel imports a British
space station action adventure show with the sturm and drang of
a techno "Rumpole of the Bailey".
Copyright
© 2001 Viki Reed. All Rights Reserved.
Viki Reed likes television.
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