My dad would tell you that life was easier when he was a kid back in the fifties. Oh, there were still some dangers lurking, even if some of them where only in the head of a guy named McCarthy. Communism was the big thing back then, with sex perverts a close second. As far as I can tell, the fear of communism has diminished now, since most of my friends know little about those times, and did not experience all the trials and witch hunts. Sex perverts, on the other hand, have endured the test of time, and I foolishly got too close on one occasion.

When I was younger, my parents wouldn't allow me to enter a public restroom without them next to me, or as I got older to hang out in a mall or movie theater. But public awareness has reduced some of the dangers as police and security people patrol those areas with more regularity. Even now at the ripe age of fifteen, I would prefer to suffer bladder pain then to enter a public restroom alone. Hey, why take a chance.

A lot of what I have learned in my life has been served up straight from the Internet. In school I access the Net to check on the stocks our class has simulated buying. At home I keep up with my mom, who lives in another state, via e-mail, and I download games and freeware to enjoy. A few of my school mates found out about a technology called IRC, short for Internet Relay Chat, and together we learned how to create a channel and to customize that channel to provide the features we wanted.

As I became more proficient in IRC, I started to venture out into other channels and chat with other surfers. Being the curious person I am, I investigated a few adult channels. This is great, no one really knowing who I am or how old I am. I thought I could just get in there and play around.

Session Start: Tue Feb 05 15:30:49 1999

Rocket15: hi

[15:31] Compman: Hiya :)

Rocket15 where u from?

[15:32] Compman: I'm downtown at work right now, I live in Tall Timbers

Rocket15: ah cool

Rocket15: Rocket15 I am in TT too

[15:33] Compman: Cool :)

[15:34] Compman: --age 32, 5'7", 155 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes

Rocket15: * Rocket15 is 15yrs old, has brown hair, green eyes, 120lbs.

[15:35] Compman: Oh you are only 15? What's your name?

Rocket15: Roger

[15:36] Compman: Live off of Marshall Highway?

Rocket15: umm yeah

[15:36] Compman: Don't you remember me?

Rocket15: hmmm

[15:36] Compman: We talked in here the other night

Rocket15: ummm

[15:37] Compman: Unless you are a different Roger :)

Rocket15: oh yeah

Rocket15: I remember

[15:37] Compman: Glad to see you again.

Rocket15: ya, u 2

Rocket15: so, what r u up to today?

[15:38] Compman: On my way home soon, not up to much, you?

Rocket15: same, nuthen here

[15:39] Compman: I think about being with someone like you :)

Rocket15: really

[15:39] Compman: Of course, you are hot!

Rocket15: :()

Rocket15: :)

[15:39] Compman: I just want to be careful and only chat with someone that wants to.

Rocket15: thanx

[15:40] Compman: I'd really like to see you :)

Rocket15: I quess that's cool

[15:41] Compman: Never thought I'd want to be with someone so young :)

[15:42] Compman: When can we get together?

Rocket15: hmmm

Rocket15: what are u up to today?

[15:43] Compman: I could stop by for a bit on my way home

Rocket15: hmm

Rocket15: ok, when u go home?

[15:43] Compman: I was going to be passing by your way around 4:30 probably

[15:44] Compman: At this rate, possibly a bit later

Rocket15: :)

Rocket15: k

[15:44] Compman: Are you alone?

Rocket15 : ya

[15:45] Compman: Give me your number and I'll call you right now, to get directions

Rocket15: 555-1234

[15:46] Compman: I'm on my way, it will take at least 30 or 40 minutes

[15:46] Compman: Ok I'll call now

Rocket15: k

Session Close: Tue Feb 05 15:49:33 1999

I sat there stunned, my stomach fluttering like the sail of a sailboat in high wind. I became very nervous as I thought about what I had just done. I had just given my phone number to a guy who wants to come over here. I don't want to do anything with a guy. What could I have been thinking? Who is this guy and what do I know about him? I talked with him in IRC a couple of times. He works at a hospital and likes computers like I do. He is not married, and has visited other boys, or at least he said he did. I should have asked him more.

Why hasn't he called yet? What if he is someone I know? Oh, my God!

What have I done?

Why hasn't he called yet?

Crap! I can't call anyone. What if he is big and fat and wants to hurt me? Oh, man, he didn't even give me his name.

Why hasn't he called yet?

Please don't call! I won't answer the phone. Oh man, what have I don't, I hope he doesn't call. What was I thinking? Please God! Don't let him call. What if he calls when my dad is here? Oh, man.

Why hasn't he called yet?

I like totally lucked out and he never called. I know this is one of those lessons you get as you grow up, and I'm glad that nothing ever came of it. I don't visit places that I know I shouldn't be at anymore, and hey, since I quit surfing IRC, I now have more time to learn C++.

Copyright © 2000 Eric McGriffen All Rights Reserved

Eric McGriffen was the publisher/editor of a small town newspaper in rural Texas in the early '90s. He enjoyed the opportunity that offered him to write about local issues and events. At age 56 he is now a freelance writer, and is self-published on the Web. He has just finished a 30,000-word nonfiction book titled "Born Queer Coming up Gay." For addition information, he can be reached at: agaywriter@hotmail.com