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Humans,
in general, define their existence through tension and agony.
As tired a cliché as it is, how can one define happiness if one
has no misery to compare it to? Even Beavis and Butthead knew
that. So, as a writer, I endeavour to find my inspiration in this
misery.
Just
recently on a trip back home, I began to get rid of all the tension
that made my move to Vancouver so idyllic in the first place. I
thought it would be the best thing to do: put the past behind me,
so to speak. But when I returned from this trip, I found myself
without even the slightest bit of inspiration. Even my girl, my
crush at the coffee shop no longer served a potent enough reason
to write. So one has to ask, what do you do when you have nothing
to write about?
Bukowski
wrote poems about this. “[It's] better to write about not writing
then not writing at all” he used to say. But what Buk was talking
about is writers' block, the lack of ability to say anything about
a particular subject. What's bothering me is the lack of a subject,
the lack of wanting to write about anything at all. I have the ability
to say what needs to be said, it's just that I have nothing really
to say it about. The reason: without any tension, no conflict, I
find myself relying on old inspirations, grown old and tired.
Even
the world is starting to yawn a little; old conflicts are getting
stale to a population thirsty for late breaking news. When television
airtime is filled with the likes of Who wants to Be a Millionaire
or Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and passed off as intelligent
viewing, one has to wonder: has the world simply lost it's inspiration?
The problem more likely lies somewhere a little shallower than that.
An entire
generation of television executives grew up never knowing war. Not
Gulf War, CNN play by play nonsense, I mean real war. That
was a conflict, and it was something that an entire nation could
identify with, no matter what side of the fence you sat on. Shows
that developed that kind of conflict were hugely successful and
poignant. M*A*S*H, for example, played for years after the Korean
War it was set during had concluded. Television now could never
universally connect with people the way that show did then. The
reason is because the executives now are forced to deal with watered
down, remade versions and accounts of ideas that have grown weak
through over analysis and reworking.
And
don't get me started on Hollywood.
Thomas
More, in his book Utopia said that total perfection was something
he wished for, but not hoped for. I think what he was trying to
say was that while the thought of World Peace was nice to think
about, it should never and can never be achieved to textbook standards.
One can use the thought of it to make changes that will benefit
all of mankind, but attempting to make all the changes necessary
for a utopian world would drive a man, or a world, to the brink.
It's good on paper, but practical application hits a major obstacle:
human nature (which is a lot like Communism, I suppose).
Which
brings up this problem again.
With
a complete absence of any sort of tension, I'm left with no inspiration
except the lack of it. As I sit here, completely dead to my world,
I am forced to find new ways to motivate my writing and my decisions.
But you can only look out the same window so many times before you
start to see the same thing.
Hey,
maybe that's what Fight Club was talking about. Instead of
walking through individually wrapped, ultra-convenienced lives,
try taking a fall, a chance. And start talking about the way back
up.
Copyright
© 2000 Elton Sharpe. All Rights Reserved.
Elton Sharpe: Currently lives with three cats.
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