As a general rule, gay men tend to live deceptive lives to survive in our society. Oh sure, we have our share of icons and activists, but they count for a very small part of the whole of our numbers.

The rest of us live half-open half-shut lives that cause us much anxiety. We are a group of people, your friends, neighbors, brothers and sisters, that put our very existence on hold waiting for some form of understanding.

I hear that it's getting a lot better these days, and in some small ways it is, but there are many more miles to travel.

The most significant force in the advancement of understanding is hidden within an electronic entity that enables us to educate, evaluate, and even entertain. The Internet, used properly, will do more for the gay lifestyle than all other avenues. It is a great source of information, and provides excellent opportunities for sharing experiences.

Gays that grew up in the 40's, 50's and 60's did not have the opportunity to talk about or ask about being queer. Oh, queer was the title used back then and gay was a word used in a song in a musical play. Folks never talked about homosexuality, except in negative ways, and doctors actually tried to treat it. Wow, things have changed a lot.

I remember the day I found out it was okay to talk openly about gay issues. Life for me took a major curve that day, and I have been heading down that open road at a fairly comfortable speed. Regular trips to the book store for my dose of gay literature and the occasional twink magazine, daily online visits to any site containing the word gay, and of course a few all night stints with the good looking naked guy on cam.

Whoa! Let's put the brakes on this new technology and learn how to maneuver it before it takes us on a wild ride to nowhere. My credentials for sharing this information with you are the many hours I have spent surfing the Internet, seeking truth and understanding about my lifestyle. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to find the gay porn or sexual chat on the net. It's everywhere; it's a waste of your time, and, in fact, leans toward the dangerous side. Also, finding facts about homosexuality is easy, but the major problem is it is often outdated and one sided.

Having said all that, I'll get to the point. One of the greatest opportunities for the sharing of information is on a cam site. There are some cam sites that are for gay porn entertainment, but there are also thousands that are operated by gay men who do not get naked and ask the size of your private parts. Their intention is to open their lives for your discovery. The have created forums, installed ICQ, and given you access to e-mail so you can ask all those questions you have with anonymity. You can even find sites that have gay couples and find out about their committed lifestyle.

It won't be easy to find your favorite cam guys, but when you do it will change your online life. You'll learn more about yourself and find people that share a unique lifestyle. Most of these guys have amazingly social personalities and it's very easy to become comfortable with them. Just remember, we are all human, so be sure to know what's okay with you and what's not, and leave if it's not. You can be hit on at cam sites so have a set of standards before you logon. And finally, don't just sit there watching the screen, hit the chat button and have some fun.

Copyright © 2000 Eric McGriffen All Rights Reserved

Eric McGriffen is a freelance writer. His first book "Born Queer - Growing up gay" is self published and available online. Eric is currently writing a series of short stories entitled "Eric's Erotic Encounter's" and is making them available online as they are completed. Eric's passion is the Internet experience as it relates to gays and the lifestyle. He can be contacted at agaywriter@hotmail.com